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Sufi Teachings

The classical Sufi manuals describe a set of stations and virtues of the heart. Each post here takes one of them, such as patience, gratitude, sincerity or trust in God, and explains it from the Qur’an, authentic hadith and the words of the early teachers, with practical steps for daily life. New readers can begin with What is Sufism in Islam?.
Each teaching post follows the same plan: what the virtue means, where the Qur’an and authentic hadith mention it, how classical teachers such as al-Qushayri and al-Ghazali explained it, and small steps for practising it at home and at work. English meanings are our own words, and every hadith is graded sahih or hasan with a full reference, so you can check each source yourself.

  • Muraqaba: Watchfulness and Awareness That God Sees You

    Muraqaba: Watchfulness and Awareness That God Sees You

    In classical Sufi teaching, muraqaba means watchfulness: living with the steady awareness that God sees you. The word comes from the same root as al-Raqib, “the Watchful”, and it describes a state of the heart rather than a special technique. This post explains the idea from its Quranic roots.

    Quick answer

    In short: Muraqaba is the inner awareness that Allah sees and knows you at every moment. Early Sufi manuals give it its own chapter among the stations and states of the path. It grows out of the Quran and the Hadith of Jibril’s description of ihsan, and its fruit is shown in ordinary conduct: honesty, restraint and sincerity when no one else is watching.

    Muraqaba at a glance

    • Meaning: watchfulness; awareness that God observes you.
    • Root: r-q-b, as in Raqib, “Observer”, used in Quran 4:1 and 33:52.
    • Link to ihsan: “if you do not see Him, He sees you” (Hadith of Jibril, Sahih Muslim 8).
    • Classical home: given its own chapter in manuals such as Qushayri’s Risala.

    What muraqaba means

    In Arabic, muraqaba is watching or guarding something carefully. In Sufi usage, the direction is turned around: it is the believer’s awareness that he or she is being watched over by God.

    That awareness is not meant to produce fear alone. It shapes how a person speaks, works and treats others, because nothing is hidden from Allah.

    Muraqaba in the Quran

    The idea is grounded in verses that describe Allah as the One who sees and watches. The Arabic below is from the Tanzil text; the meanings are in our own words.

    Verses behind the idea

    • إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًۭا (Quran 4:1, excerpt). Meaning (our own words): Allah is always watching over you.
    • وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ رَّقِيبًۭا (Quran 33:52, excerpt). Meaning (our own words): And Allah keeps watch over all things.
    • وَهُوَ مَعَكُمْ أَيْنَ مَا كُنتُمْ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌۭ (Quran 57:4, excerpt). Meaning (our own words): He is with you wherever you may be, and Allah sees all that you do.
    • أَلَمْ يَعْلَم بِأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَرَىٰ (Quran 96:14). Meaning (our own words): Is he not aware that Allah is watching?

    Addressed to the Prophet ﷺ, Quran 26:218–219 describes Allah as the One who sees him in prayer: ٱلَّذِى يَرَىٰكَ حِينَ تَقُومُ ۝ وَتَقَلُّبَكَ فِى ٱلسَّٰجِدِينَ. Meaning (our own words): The One who sees you when you stand, and sees you moving among those who bow down in prostration.

    A related verse speaks of a different watcher. Quran 50:18: مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌۭ. Meaning (our own words): Not a word does a person speak without a watcher beside him, ready to record it. Here the watcher (raqib) is the angel who records, not Allah. Read together, these verses remind us that nothing we do or say goes unseen.

    The link to ihsan

    In the well-known Hadith of Jibril, ihsan is described as worshipping Allah as though you see Him, and if you do not see Him, He sees you (narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab, Sahih Muslim 8). The second half of that description is muraqaba in its simplest form.

    Our post on what Islamic mysticism is and isn’t looks at ihsan in more detail.

    Muraqaba in classical Sufi teaching

    Classical manuals describe the stations and states (maqamat and ahwal) of the path. Al-Qushayri’s Risala (composed 437 AH) gives muraqaba its own chapter among the stations and states of the path. See our introduction to Qushayri’s Risala.

    DisciplineFocusQuestion it asks
    MuraqabaAwareness of God now“Am I mindful that He sees me?”
    MuhasabaSelf-accounting afterward“What did I do, and why?”
    IkhlasSincerity of intention“Who am I doing this for?”
    Three related inner disciplines

    The three support each other. Read more on muhasaba and ikhlas.

    What muraqaba is not

    Warning

    In some modern writing, “muraqaba” is used for a seated meditation method. This post is about the classical meaning: an inner awareness that runs through the whole day. It is not a technique, a special posture or a secret practice.

    Muraqaba in everyday life

    Because muraqaba is an awareness, it shows up in ordinary moments rather than in rituals of its own.

    Where watchfulness shows

    1

    At work: doing a job properly when no one checks.

    2

    In speech: holding back a harsh or untrue word.

    3

    Online: behaving the same in private as in public.

    4

    In prayer: returning attention when the mind wanders.

    5

    In remembrance: connecting it with dhikr, which keeps God in mind.

    Tip

    A simple way to begin is to recall the meaning of Quran 96:14, “Is he not aware that Allah is watching?”, before a choice you would rather nobody saw.

    Sources and last checked

    Last checked 30 Oct 2026: Quran 4:1, 33:52, 57:4, 96:14, 50:18 and 26:218–219 (Arabic: Tanzil Uthmani text; 4:1, 33:52, 57:4 and 50:18 from the quran-uthmani edition; meanings are our own words); al-Qushayri, al-Risala al-Qushayriyya, Bab al-Muraqaba; Sahih Muslim 8 (Hadith of Jibril, via Sunnah.com).

  • Islamic Mysticism: What It Is and What It Isn’t

    Islamic Mysticism: What It Is and What It Isn’t

    “Mysticism” is an English word. When writers use it for Islam, they usually mean tasawwuf, the tradition known as Sufism. The word can make it sound secret, strange or magical. In the classical sources, it is much simpler and much closer to everyday faith.

    Quick answer

    In short: Islamic mysticism (tasawwuf) is the inner work of the heart within Islam: sincerity, remembrance of God, good character and ihsan. It is not a separate religion, not a way to skip prayer or law, and not about secret powers.

    What the word means here

    Britannica describes Sufism as the mystical side of Islam, focused on seeking a direct, personal nearness to God. The early Sufis themselves used Islamic words to describe this, such as ihsan (excellence in worship), ikhlas (sincerity) and dhikr (remembrance).

    In the well-known Hadith of Jibril, the Prophet ﷺ described ihsan as worshipping God as though you see Him, and knowing that even if you do not see Him, He sees you (Sahih Muslim 8, graded sahih). Classical Sufi writers often pointed to this as the heart of their path.

    Key takeaways

    • Arabic term: tasawwuf, usually called Sufism in English.
    • Core idea: ihsan, worship with full presence of heart.
    • Main practices: prayer, remembrance, reflection, good character.
    • Foundation: the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the Shariah.

    What it is

    At its centre, Islamic mysticism is about the heart turning towards God. The Qur’an says that hearts find rest in the remembrance of God (Qur’an 13:28). Sufi teachers built on verses like this to teach steady remembrance, honest self-examination and patience.

    Typical themes include:

    • Sincerity: doing good for God, not for praise. See our post on ikhlas.
    • Remembrance: keeping God in mind through dhikr.
    • Self-accounting: checking one’s own faults before others’ faults.
    • Good character: kindness, humility and truthfulness.

    What it isn’t

    MythClassical picture
    A separate religionThe inner side of Islam
    A way to drop prayer or lawBuilt on prayer and the Shariah
    About secret powersAbout purifying the heart
    Only for a chosen fewSincerity is asked of every believer
    Mainly poetry and musicMainly worship, character and learning
    Common myths and the classical picture

    In the 11th century, al-Qushayri wrote his famous Risala partly to show that the path of the Sufis stands on the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the law. You can read our introduction to Qushayri’s Risala for more.

    Why the word can mislead

    “Mysticism” can suggest visions or hidden knowledge. The classical writers were careful here. They warned students not to chase unusual experiences and to judge every state by the Shariah. The real sign of progress, in their view, was better character and more sincere worship.

    This is why many classical Sufi books spend more pages on manners, repentance and patience than on inner experiences. For them, a person who prays on time, keeps promises and treats others gently is further along the path than someone who only speaks about hidden states.

    Note

    Some popular books and websites mix Sufism with ideas from outside Islam. A safer way to learn is to start with the classical sources and trusted teachers.

    Starting points for readers

    Learning about Islamic mysticism calmly

    1

    Begin with the basics. Read what Sufism is in Islam.

    2

    Learn the key terms. Our guide to Sufi terms explains tariqa, murid and shaykh.

    3

    Read slowly. See how to read classical Sufi texts.

    4

    Keep your daily worship steady. The inner path rests on the outer one.

    Tip

    If a teaching asks you to leave prayer or ignore the law, the classical tradition would see that as a warning sign, not a higher stage.

    Summary

    Islamic mysticism is not a mystery cult or a side religion. In the words of its own classical writers, it is the effort to worship God with sincerity and presence, and to let that worship shape one’s character.

    Related

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  • The History and Origin of Sufism: From Early Ascetics to the Classical Masters

    The History and Origin of Sufism: From Early Ascetics to the Classical Masters

    Ask where Sufism began and you will hear many answers. Some point to a word, some to a group of early Muslims, and some to a single line of hadith. Each holds part of the story. This post walks through it calmly, keeping to what the sources say and noting where scholars differ. If you want the meaning and practice first, start with What Is Sufism in Islam?.

    This is part of our Sufism Basics series on the teachings page. It is an overview of history, not a ruling.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: Sufism (tasawwuf) grew from the inner side of Islam that Muslims call ihsan, worshipping God with full presence of heart. In the first Islamic centuries, devout people known for zuhd (detachment from the world) shaped it. By the 3rd/9th century the name “Sufi” was in common use, especially in Baghdad, and from the 5th/11th century manuals by al-Qushayri, al-Hujwiri and al-Ghazali set out its teachings (Britannica).

    The root: ihsan

    Many Sufi writers trace their path to the famous hadith of Jibril. Asked about ihsan, the Prophet ﷺ replied (Sahih al-Bukhari 50, graded sahih; also Sahih Muslim 8a, sahih):

    Meaning: To worship God as though you see Him, and if you do not see Him, to know that He sees you.

    The hadith speaks of three layers of religion: islam, iman and ihsan. Sufism, as its own writers describe it, is the effort to live the third.

    Key takeaways

    • Root idea: ihsan, worship with presence of heart (Bukhari 50).
    • Early shape: devotion, night prayer and zuhd, detachment from the world.
    • The name became common in Baghdad’s circles before it spread widely (Britannica).
    • Classical manuals later gathered sayings and practice into books.

    Where does the word come from?

    Scholars differ on the origin of the word Sufi. The main suggestions are:

    Suggested rootMeaningNote
    sufWoolRough woollen garments worn by early ascetics; widely accepted by historians
    safa’PurityPopular among Sufi writers; harder to fit to Arabic grammar
    suffaThe benchThe ahl al-suffa, poor Companions who stayed at the Prophet’s mosque
    Suggested roots of the word “Sufi”

    Western reference works tend to favour suf, wool (Britannica). Sufi authors often prefer the meaning of purity. We leave the question open, as the classical writers themselves did.

    The early ascetics

    In the first two Islamic centuries, the people later counted as forerunners were not called Sufis. They were known as worshippers and ascetics. Al-Hasan al-Basri (d. 110/728) in Basra is often named among them for his sermons on the heart and the fleeting world. Rabi’a al-‘Adawiyya of Basra (d. c. 185/801) is remembered for speaking of loving God for His own sake.

    Their focus was simple: sincerity, fear of God, hope, and turning away from luxury. Our post on zuhd and detachment looks at this station in more depth.

    Baghdad and the “sober” school

    By the 3rd/9th century, Baghdad had circles that spoke openly of the inner path. Al-Junayd (d. 298/910) is the best-known name. Later writers called his approach “sober”: inner experience kept firmly within the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the law. Many later orders trace their chains of teachers back through him.

    A famous saying

    Al-Hujwiri records this line from Abu’l-Hasan Fushanji: “To-day Sufiism is a name without a reality, but formerly it was a reality without a name.” (al-Hujwiri, Kashf al-Mahjub, tr. R. A. Nicholson, 1911, p. 44)

    The classical manuals

    From the 5th/11th century, scholars wrote books to gather the path in one place and to show that it sat inside mainstream Islam.

    Four landmark works

    1

    Al-Qushayri’s Risala: a guide to the Sufi stations and their masters, written in Nishapur. See our introduction to the Risala.

    2

    Al-Hujwiri’s Kashf al-Mahjub: among the earliest Persian works on Sufism, written in Lahore. See our Kashf al-Mahjub introduction.

    3

    Al-Ghazali’s Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din: joins law, belief and the inner life in one work. See our Ihya introduction.

    4

    The orders (tariqas): from about the 6th/12th century, teaching lineages took shape as organised paths.

    The orders and beyond

    Over the following centuries, tariqas spread from Morocco to Indonesia and across the Subcontinent. Each kept a chain of teachers, a set of daily litanies and a house of learning. If the words tariqa, murid and shaykh are new to you, our guide to Sufi terms explains them.

    Tip

    Read the early masters through the classical manuals rather than online quote lists. The manuals give the setting of each saying, which matters.

    FAQ

    When did Sufism start?

    Its roots are in the first Islamic century, in the devotion and zuhd of early Muslims. The name “Sufi” was in common use by the 3rd/9th century.

    What does the word Sufi mean?

    Scholars differ. The main suggestions are suf (wool), safa’ (purity) and suffa (the bench of the Prophet’s mosque).

    Who wrote the first books on Sufism?

    Several early works exist, but the best-known classical manuals are by al-Qushayri, al-Hujwiri and al-Ghazali.

    Last checked: 24 October 2026 (Asia/Riyadh). Hadith: Sahih al-Bukhari 50 and Sahih Muslim 8a (both sahih), Arabic text on hold pending a print check; English meaning is our own wording. Historical overview only, not a religious ruling.

    Related

    Sources

  • What Is Sufism in Islam? Meaning, Roots and Practice of Tasawwuf

    What Is Sufism in Islam? Meaning, Roots and Practice of Tasawwuf

    Many people meet the word “Sufism” through poetry or music. Behind those, there is a simpler idea at the heart of Islam: worship with full presence of heart. This guide explains what Sufism (tasawwuf) means, where it comes from and what it looks like in practice.

    It is the first post in our Sufism Basics series on the teachings page. It is an introduction, not a ruling, and where scholars differ we say so.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: Sufism, or tasawwuf, is the inner dimension of Islam: purifying the heart and worshipping God with sincerity and awareness. Its roots are in the Qur’an and in the Prophet’s teaching on ihsan, “to worship Allah as if you see Him” (Sahih al-Bukhari 50). It works within Islam’s beliefs and practices, not apart from them.

    Key takeaways

    • Arabic name: tasawwuf; a practitioner is called a Sufi.
    • Core aim: a purified heart and constant awareness of God.
    • Root text: the hadith of Jibril on ihsan (Bukhari 50, sahih).
    • Main practices: remembrance (dhikr), self-examination and good character.

    Sufism meaning: where the word tasawwuf comes from

    Scholars differ on the origin of the word “Sufi”. Three explanations are common, and none is settled.

    RootArabicIdea
    WoolsufThe plain wool garments of early ascetics
    PuritysafaPurity of heart
    The BenchsuffaThe poor Companions who lived at the Prophet’s mosque
    Three suggested roots of “Sufi”

    Britannica links the name to wool. Either way, the word tasawwuf came to mean the effort to become a Sufi: to purify the self for God.

    The roots of Sufism in the Qur’an

    Sufi teachers point first to the Qur’an’s focus on the heart. One verse says: “He has succeeded who purifies it, and he has failed who instills it [with corruption]” (Qur’an 91:9-10). Purifying the self (tazkiyah) is the centre of the path.

    Another verse links the heart’s peace to remembrance: “Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allāh hearts are assured” (Qur’an 13:28). This is why dhikr holds such a central place in Sufi practice.

    Ihsan: the heart of the matter

    The best-known source is the hadith of Jibril. The angel asked the Prophet about faith, Islam and ihsan. On ihsan, the Prophet replied: “To worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you cannot achieve this state of devotion then you must consider that He is looking at you” (Sahih al-Bukhari 50, sahih).

    Many scholars describe the three answers as three layers of one religion. Faith concerns belief, Islam concerns outward practice, and ihsan concerns the inner quality of both. Sufism, in this view, is the discipline that studies and trains that third layer.

    Note

    Sufism is not a separate religion or a sect. Classical Sufi teachers worked within the beliefs, prayers and law of Islam and treated them as the foundation of the path.

    What Sufis actually do

    Day to day, Sufism is less about dramatic experiences and more about steady habits. Most paths share a few core practices.

    The basic practices of the path

    1

    Remembrance (dhikr): regular remembrance of God, following “So remember Me; I will remember you” (Qur’an 2:152). See our guide to what dhikr means.

    2

    Self-examination: honestly reviewing one’s intentions and actions each day.

    3

    Good character: working on patience, gratitude, humility and generosity.

    4

    Keeping company with a teacher: learning the path from a qualified guide (shaykh) and a circle of students.

    Teachers, orders and stations

    Over time, students gathered around teachers, and some of these circles became orders, each called a tariqa. For the main terms, see our guide to Sufi terms: tariqa, murid and shaykh.

    Classical writers also described “stations” (maqamat) on the path, such as repentance, patience, gratitude and trust in God. Each is a quality of the heart to be developed over time. Our teachings page covers several of these stations in depth.

    Common misunderstandings

    Sufism is sometimes confused with music, poetry or a set of dramatic rituals. Those appear in some cultures, but they are not its core. The core is sincerity, remembrance and good character.

    It is also not a shortcut around the basics. Classical teachers put prayer, fasting and sound belief first. Readers wanting a ruling on any specific practice should ask a qualified scholar.

    Related

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  • Asma’ bint Abi Bakr and Her Mother’s Visit: A Story of Family Ties in Sahih al-Bukhari

    Asma’ bint Abi Bakr and Her Mother’s Visit: A Story of Family Ties in Sahih al-Bukhari

    Families do not always share the same path. Sometimes a parent and child see faith differently, and the question becomes simple and hard at once: how do I treat my mother now?

    A short narration in Sahih al-Bukhari records exactly that question, asked by Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her). This post retells it in our own words, quotes only what is needed, and draws a few lessons on keeping family ties with kindness. It is a reflection, not a ruling.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: In Sahih al-Bukhari 2620, Asma’ said her mother came to visit while she was not Muslim, wishing to receive something from her daughter. Asma’ asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Shall I keep good relations with her?” He replied, “Yes, keep good relation with her” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2620, sunnah.com translation).

    Who was Asma’?

    Asma’ was the daughter of Abu Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with them both). She is remembered among the women of the early Muslim community. In this post we look at one moment only: a visit from her mother.

    The story in brief

    As Asma’ narrates it, her mother came to see her during the lifetime of the Prophet ﷺ. Her mother was not a Muslim. Asma’ did not simply decide alone. She went and asked how she should treat her.

    The answer was short and clear: “Yes, keep good relation with her.” The narration does not add conditions or a long explanation. The guidance is to keep the tie and to be good to her mother.

    The narration at a glance

    • Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 2620, narrated by Asma’ bint Abi Bakr.
    • The situation: her mother visited while not Muslim, wishing to receive something from her.
    • Her question: “Shall I keep good relations with her?”
    • The answer: “Yes, keep good relation with her.”
    • The theme: keeping family ties (silat al-rahim) with kindness.

    What the Qur’an adds

    Two verses are often read alongside this story. Qur’an 31:15 speaks of parents who urge a child away from faith in Allah. It says not to obey them in that, “but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness” (Saheeh International translation).

    Qur’an 60:8 says Allah does not forbid being righteous and just toward those who have not fought Muslims because of religion or driven them from their homes. Together, these verses keep belief firm and kindness wide.

    Four lessons for family life

    1. Ask before you act

    Asma’ was unsure, so she asked. When a family situation feels complicated, seeking sound guidance first is part of good adab. Our post on the adab of seeking knowledge explores this.

    2. Difference does not cut the tie

    Her mother’s faith was different, yet the guidance was to keep the relationship. Disagreement in belief and kindness in manners can sit together.

    3. Kindness is practical

    Good relations show in ordinary things: a warm welcome, a meal, a gift, a phone call, time given without hurry. The tie is kept by small, repeated acts.

    4. Firm faith, gentle manners

    Qur’an 31:15 draws a clear line about belief, and in the same verse asks for “appropriate kindness”. One does not cancel the other. Our post on good character looks at gentleness more widely.

    Cutting offKeeping the tie
    Avoiding visits and callsWelcoming them warmly
    Arguing at every meetingSpeaking with respect and calm
    Withholding small kindnessesOffering food, gifts and time
    Deciding alone in angerSeeking sound guidance first
    Two ways to meet a family difference

    Putting it into practice

    A gentle practice for family ties

    1

    Make one contact this week with a relative you have drifted from.

    2

    Keep the tone warm and avoid reopening old arguments.

    3

    Offer something small: a meal, a gift or an hour of your time.

    4

    Hold your own path calmly without pressure on theirs.

    5

    Ask a trusted scholar when a situation is genuinely difficult.

    Tip

    A short message that says “I was thinking of you” can reopen a door that has been closed for a long time.

    What this post is not

    This is a short reflection on one narration and two verses. It does not give rulings on complex family matters, inheritance or harm. If a relationship involves harm, your safety comes first; please speak with a qualified scholar and trusted people around you.

    FAQ

    Where is the story of Asma’ and her mother found?

    In Sahih al-Bukhari 2620, which you can read online.

    Does keeping ties mean following a parent in belief?

    No. Qur’an 31:15 says not to obey them in that, while still accompanying them with appropriate kindness.

    Why is this story placed under Women in Islam?

    Because it is told by Asma’ herself, and it shows a daughter’s care and good judgement in a real family moment.

    Last checked: 19 October 2026 (Asia/Riyadh) against Sahih al-Bukhari 2620 (English translation, quoted above) and Qur’an 31:15 and 60:8 (Saheeh International translation). Educational reflection only, not a religious ruling.

    Related

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  • Kindness to Parents in the Qur’an: Lessons from Surah al-Isra 17:23-24

    Kindness to Parents in the Qur’an: Lessons from Surah al-Isra 17:23-24

    Some of the clearest teaching in the Qur’an is about ordinary life at home. Two short verses in Surah al-Isra speak about how we treat our parents, especially as they grow older. They are gentle, specific and very practical.

    This post reads those verses alongside one verse from Surah Luqman and one hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari, and draws a few lessons for everyday family life. It is a reflection, not a ruling.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: Qur’an 17:23 joins the command to worship Allah alone with “to parents, good treatment”. It asks us not to say even “uff” to them, not to repel them, and to “speak to them a noble word”. Verse 17:24 adds humility, mercy and a dua: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small” (Saheeh International translation).

    What the verses say

    Verse 17:23 begins: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship not except Him, and to parents, good treatment.” It then turns to old age: “Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”

    Verse 17:24 continues: “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’”

    The verses at a glance

    • Where: Surah al-Isra, 17:23-24.
    • The pairing: good treatment of parents follows directly after the command to worship Allah alone.
    • The setting: old age, when parents may live with or depend on their children.
    • Words to avoid: even “uff”, a small sound of irritation.
    • Words to choose: “a noble word”, spoken with humility and mercy.
    • A dua to keep: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”

    Why the detail matters

    The verses do not stop at a general instruction to be good. They name a tiny sound of impatience. Most of us would never shout at a parent, yet a sigh or a rolled eye can slip out on a tired day. The Qur’an treats even that as worth guarding against.

    The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” is a picture of gentleness. It describes a posture of the heart: patient, unhurried and soft in tone. The dua that follows reminds us why. They cared for us when we were small and could do nothing for ourselves.

    A mother’s place

    Surah Luqman adds a second verse on parents. Qur’an 31:14 says: “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness… Be grateful to Me and to your parents.” Gratitude to parents is placed beside gratitude to Allah.

    A well-known hadith gives the same emphasis. In Sahih al-Bukhari 5971, a man asked who most deserved his best companionship. The Prophet ﷺ answered “Your mother” three times, and then “Your father” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5971). We share it here as context for the verses, not as a promise of reward. For more of Luqman’s counsel, see our post on Luqman’s advice to his son.

    Four lessons for home

    1. Guard the small sounds

    The verse names “uff” for a reason. Small signs of irritation are often the first thing a parent notices. Catching them is a daily, quiet practice.

    2. Choose a noble word

    The alternative to impatience is not silence. It is “a noble word”: respectful, kind and clear. Even when we disagree, the tone can stay gentle.

    3. Patience grows with age

    The verse speaks of old age directly. Parents may become slower, repeat questions or need more help. The Qur’an prepares us for that season rather than leaving it unspoken. Our post on good character explores this wider theme of patience with people.

    4. Keep them in your dua

    The verse gives us words to say. Making that dua part of the day keeps gratitude alive, whether parents live with us, far away, or have passed on.

    Hurried toneGentle tone
    A sigh or “uff” when asked againA calm answer, as if for the first time
    Correcting them in front of othersA quiet word in private
    Rushing them out of the doorWaiting a little and offering an arm
    Forgetting them in our prayersSaying the dua from 17:24 each day
    Two tones at home

    Putting it into practice

    A simple daily practice

    1

    Start the day with greeting: salam and a few warm words before your phone.

    2

    Listen fully once a day: give one conversation your whole attention.

    3

    Notice your tone: if “uff” rises, pause and choose a gentler word.

    4

    Do one small service: tea, a call, an errand, without being asked.

    5

    Close with the dua: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”

    Tip

    If your parents live far away, a short daily call or voice note can carry the same gentle tone.

    What this post is not

    This is a short reflection on two verses and one hadith. It is not a ruling on family obligations or on difficult family situations. For personal questions, please speak with a qualified scholar you trust.

    FAQ

    Where is kindness to parents mentioned in the Qur’an?

    Among other places, in Surah al-Isra 17:23-24 and Surah Luqman 31:14.

    What does “uff” mean in 17:23?

    It is a small expression of annoyance. The verse asks us not to say even that to parents in their old age.

    Is there a dua for parents in the Qur’an?

    Yes. Verse 17:24 includes: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”

    Last checked: 19 October 2026 (Asia/Riyadh) against Qur’an 17:23-24 and 31:14 (Saheeh International translation) and Sahih al-Bukhari 5971. Educational reflection only, not a religious ruling.

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  • Luqman’s Advice to His Son: Seven Lessons From the Qur’an

    Luqman’s Advice to His Son: Seven Lessons From the Qur’an

    Many families have a favourite piece of advice passed from parent to child. In the Qur’an there is a whole passage of it. Luqman’s advice to his son fills a handful of verses in Surat Luqman, and it covers gratitude, humility, patience and even how to walk and speak.

    We know very little about Luqman himself, and this post makes no claims beyond the Qur’an’s own words: that Allah gave him wisdom. What the passage gives us is a model of how to teach, and seven lessons we can apply today.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: In Qur’an 31:12-19, Luqman gives his son a series of short, warm instructions: be grateful, do not associate anything with Allah, remember that nothing is hidden from Him, pray and be patient, treat people with humility, walk moderately and keep your voice low. Three pieces of the advice begin with “O my son”, which makes the passage a lasting picture of loving instruction within a family.

    The passage at a glance

    About these verses

    • Where: Surat Luqman, Qur’an 31:12-19, read here in the Sahih International translation.
    • Opening: Allah says He gave Luqman wisdom and told him to be grateful (31:12).
    • Tone: three pieces of advice open with “O my son” (31:13, 31:16, 31:17).
    • A hadith link: Sahih al-Bukhari 32 connects 31:13 to a question the Companions asked; the collection is regarded as sahih.

    Every quotation below is from the Sahih International translation, with a link to the verse, and the rest is retold in our own words. It is a reflection on the text, not a ruling or a commentary on questions of law.

    1. Begin with gratitude

    The passage opens by saying that Allah gave Luqman wisdom and told him to be grateful. It adds that gratitude benefits the one who shows it. Before any rules, the first note is thankfulness.

    If you read this alongside our post on shukr (gratitude) in classical Sufi teaching, you will see how closely the two fit.

    2. Speak to your child first about what matters most

    Luqman’s first words to his son are a warning against associating anything with Allah. The Qur’an gives them as: “do not associate [anything] with Allāh” (Qur’an 31:13, Sahih International), and describes such association as a great injustice.

    A related hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari says that when a verse about those who “do not mix their belief with injustice” (Qur’an 6:82, Sahih International) was revealed, the Companions asked: “Who is amongst us who had not done injustice (wrong)?” The narration says Allah then revealed 31:13 (Sahih al-Bukhari 32, sunnah.com translation). We simply note the link here; for its explanation, please study with a teacher.

    3. Nothing is lost

    Next, Luqman tells his son that even a wrong the size of “the weight of a mustard seed” (Qur’an 31:16, Sahih International), hidden inside a rock or anywhere in the heavens or earth, is known to Allah, Who is Subtle and Aware.

    For a young person, this is a gentle reminder that private choices matter, and that small things are not too small to notice. It is a call to honesty with ourselves, not to fear.

    4. Stay steady in prayer and patience

    Luqman then tells his son to establish prayer and to be patient over what befalls him (31:17). The verse also mentions enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong; for how that applies in practice, ask a qualified teacher. It describes all of this as among the matters requiring resolve.

    Patience here is not passive. It is steadiness through change, which is why our guide to sabr in the Sufi tradition is a good companion read.

    5. Face people with humility

    The passage next turns from worship to manners. In the Qur’an’s words, “do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people” (Qur’an 31:18, Sahih International). How we treat others is part of wisdom, and contempt, however small, closes hearts.

    6. Walk without arrogance, and 7. lower your voice

    The last two lessons are the most practical. The same verse tells him not to “walk through the earth exultantly” (31:18), and to “be moderate in your pace and lower your voice” (Qur’an 31:19, Sahih International).

    These lines describe everyday habits of calm and self-restraint. Raised voices and swagger rarely help a household, a workplace or a mosque.

    Common habitThe pattern in the passage
    Ordering without explanationShort advice, often with its reason attached
    HarshnessGentle address: “O my son”
    Rules onlyGratitude, belief, manners and patience together
    Heavy-handed teaching vs Luqman’s way

    Putting it into practice

    A simple family practice

    1

    Choose one lesson from the seven for the week.

    2

    Say it warmly, in your own words, at a calm moment rather than in the middle of a quarrel.

    3

    Model it first. Children notice a lowered voice more than a lecture.

    4

    Invite a question and listen before you answer.

    5

    Revisit it at the end of the week with a short, kind check-in.

    Tip

    If you are a young adult reading this, try the passage as advice to yourself: which of the seven do you find hardest, and what is one small step you could take today?

    Study with a teacher

    This post reflects on verses and one hadith reference; it is not a commentary or a ruling. For the meaning of the verses in detail, including those about parents (31:14-15), study with a qualified teacher.

    FAQ

    Who was Luqman?

    The Qur’an names Luqman and says Allah gave him wisdom (31:12). It gives no further biography, so this post does not add details.

    Where is Luqman’s advice in the Qur’an?

    In Surat Luqman, verses 12 to 19, which you can read on Quran.com.

    What does “O my son” show us?

    Three pieces of advice are introduced with it. It reflects a warm, personal style of teaching within the family.

    Is this post a ruling or tafsir?

    No. It is a short reflection on the text. For rulings or detailed interpretation, ask a qualified scholar.

    Last checked: 15 October 2026 against Qur’an 31:12-19 and 6:82 (Sahih International translation) (linked above) and Sahih al-Bukhari 32 (linked above). Educational reflection only, not a religious ruling.

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  • The Story of Ka’b ibn Malik: How Telling the Truth Saved Him

    The Story of Ka’b ibn Malik: How Telling the Truth Saved Him

    Some of the strongest teachings on truthfulness are told as stories. The story of Ka’b ibn Malik, a Companion of the Prophet (peace be upon him) from Madinah, is one of the longest first-person narrations in the hadith collections. He tells it himself: the worst failure of his life, and how one truthful answer turned it into his greatest blessing.

    It complements our introduction to sidq (truthfulness) in classical Sufi teaching, which explains the principle; here we see it lived.

    Quick answer

    Short answer: Ka’b ibn Malik stayed behind from the expedition of Tabuk without any excuse. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) returned, more than eighty men offered false excuses, but Ka’b told the plain truth. He and two others were left waiting for fifty nights, shunned by the community, until Allah revealed that their repentance was accepted (Qur’an 9:117-119). The narration is in Sahih al-Bukhari 4418 and Sahih Muslim 2769.

    The sources

    About this narration

    • Narrator: Ka’b ibn Malik, through his son ‘Abdullah.
    • Collections: Sahih al-Bukhari 4418 and Sahih Muslim 2769, both from the two most authoritative hadith collections.
    • Qur’an: the verses about the three who were left behind are in Surat al-Tawbah, 9:117-119.
    • Grading: sahih; both collections are accepted as authentic by Sunni scholars.

    The retelling below is in our own words; the few direct quotes are marked and attributed.

    Putting it off

    Ka’b opens by admitting that he had no excuse. At the time of Tabuk he was better off than ever, owning two riding camels. The journey ahead was long and the heat was fierce, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) told everyone plainly where they were going, so that they could get ready.

    Ka’b fully intended to go. Day after day he set out to prepare and came home with nothing done, reassuring himself: “I can do that” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, sunnah.com translation). The army marched out, he kept putting it off, and in the end the chance was gone.

    The moment of choice

    When he heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) was on his way back, Ka’b started rehearsing excuses. But as the Prophet came closer, the excuses fell away. He realised a lie would never get him out of this, and he made up his mind to tell the truth.

    Over eighty men came with excuses and oaths, which were accepted at face value.

    Then it was Ka’b’s turn. Asked why he had stayed behind, he admitted that he was skilled with words and could have talked his way out of trouble with anyone else. But a lie told now, he said, would be exposed by Allah before long, while the truth, however unwelcome today, left room to hope for forgiveness. Then he said simply: “Really, by Allah, there was no excuse for me” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, sunnah.com translation).

    The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “As regards this man, he has surely told the truth. So get up till Allah decides your case” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, sunnah.com translation).

    Pressure to take the easy way

    That was not the end of the test. Men from his own clan went after him and scolded him: why hadn’t he offered an excuse like everyone else and let the Prophet’s prayer for forgiveness cover him?

    What kept him firm was hearing that two others had answered the same way: Murara ibn al-Rabi’ and Hilal ibn Umayya, both veterans of Badr. Their example kept him from changing his answer.

    Fifty nights

    The community was told not to speak to the three men. Ka’b still went to the prayers and the market, though no one spoke to him.

    In the middle of this, a letter came from the king of Ghassan, offering him a warm welcome if he would come over. Ka’b’s reaction was: “This is also a sort of a test” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, sunnah.com translation). He put the letter into an oven and burned it.

    Relief at dawn

    On the fiftieth morning, Ka’b prayed Fajr on a rooftop, feeling that the whole world had closed in around him. Then a man shouted from the hill of Sala’, telling him to rejoice. Ka’b fell down in prostration.

    Allah had accepted their repentance. In our own paraphrase, Qur’an 9:118 speaks of the three who were left behind: the earth, wide as it is, felt tight to them and so did their own souls, until they understood that the only refuge from Allah is with Allah, and He turned to them in mercy. The next verse tells believers to be mindful of Allah and stay with the truthful (Qur’an 9:117-119).

    When Ka’b reached the Prophet (peace be upon him), he was told that this was the best day he had known since the day he was born.

    What Ka’b took from it

    Ka’b’s own conclusion is the heart of the story: “Allah has saved me for telling the truth; so it is a part of my repentance not to tell but the truth as long as I am alive” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, sunnah.com translation).

    He set his own case beside that of the men who had sworn false oaths, whom the Qur’an describes in 9:95-96. Other than being guided to Islam, he said, no blessing in his life was greater than not having lied that day.

    Lessons for everyday life

    Living the lesson

    1

    Watch the small delays. Ka’b’s failure began with putting things off until tomorrow. Notice where you are postponing what you know you should do.

    2

    Own it plainly. When you have fallen short, the first step is an honest account, without polishing.

    3

    Accept that truth may cost something now. Ka’b chose short-term difficulty over a lie that would have followed him.

    4

    Stay with good company. Find people whose example holds you steady when others push you towards the easy way.

    These lessons fit closely with the classical teaching on truthfulness, especially what al-Ghazali calls truth in resolve and in fulfilling it, and with muhasaba, the practice of self-accounting.

    Study with a teacher

    This post retells an authentic narration and draws general lessons. It is not a ruling on any question of law. For detailed explanation of the narration and its rulings, study with a qualified teacher.

    FAQ

    Where is the story of Ka’b ibn Malik found?

    In Sahih al-Bukhari 4418 and Sahih Muslim 2769, narrated by Ka’b himself through his son ‘Abdullah.

    Last checked: 14 October 2026 against the Sahih al-Bukhari 4418, Sahih Muslim 2769 and Qur’an references linked above. Educational retelling only, not a religious ruling.

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  • Haya’ (Modesty Before Allah) in Classical Sufi Teaching: What Qushayri’s Risala Says

    Haya’ (Modesty Before Allah) in Classical Sufi Teaching: What Qushayri’s Risala Says

    Haya’ in Sufism is more than shyness. In the chapter on haya’ in his Risala, Abu al-Qasim al-Qushayri (d. 465 AH) treats it as a living awareness that Allah sees you. He opens the chapter with the verse “Does he not know that Allah sees?” (Qur’an 96:14) and the hadith الحياء من الإيمان, “Haya’ is part of faith” (al-Bukhari). This guide walks through that chapter in plain English, working from the Arabic text (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya, Arabic edition on archive.org).

    Quick answer

    Short answer: For Qushayri’s teachers, haya’ is the state born when you see Allah’s blessings on one side and your own shortcomings on the other. It is part of faith, and the Prophet explained true haya’ before Allah as guarding the head, the body and the heart’s attachments.

    The Prophet’s explanation of true haya’

    Qushayri cites the hadith of Ibn Mas’ud. The Prophet told his companions to have haya’ before Allah as He deserves. They said they did, praise be to Allah. He answered that true haya’ means guarding the head and what it holds, guarding the stomach and what it contains, remembering death and decay, and leaving the adornment of this world for the one who wants the Hereafter (al-Tirmidhi).

    In other words, haya’ here is not a feeling in the face. It is a way of looking after what you think, see and hear, what you take in, and what you set your heart on.

    Junayd’s definition

    Asked about haya’, al-Junayd said it is seeing the blessings and seeing your own shortcoming, and from between the two a state is born that is called haya’. Qushayri’s teacher Abu Ali al-Daqqaq gave a shorter one: haya’ is giving up all claims before Allah. Another definition in the chapter calls it the heart drawing in out of reverence for the Lord.

    The kinds of haya’

    The chapter lists several kinds of haya’, each tied to an example. Some of them, in paraphrase:

    • Haya’ over a wrong done: Adam, asked whether he was running away, answered that it was out of haya’ before his Lord.
    • Haya’ over falling short: the angels who say, “Glory be to You, we have not worshipped You as You deserve.”
    • Haya’ of reverence: Israfil, who wraps himself in his wing out of haya’ before Allah.
    • Haya’ of generosity: the Prophet ﷺ, who felt shy to ask people to leave. Qushayri follows this with Qur’an 33:53.
    • Haya’ of feeling small: Musa, who said a worldly need would come to him and he would feel shy to ask his Lord. He was told: ask Me even for the salt of your dough and the fodder for your sheep.

    The last example is a gentle lesson in itself. Haya’ is not meant to stop you from asking Allah for small things. It makes you ask with humility.

    Haya’ and the other stations

    Al-Sari al-Saqati says that haya’ and intimacy with Allah knock at the heart. If they find renunciation (zuhd) and scrupulousness there, they stay. If not, they move on. Dhu al-Nun al-Misri contrasts three states: love makes you speak, haya’ makes you silent, and fear makes you restless (compare our guide to fear and hope). Ibn Ata calls awe and haya’ the greatest knowledge: when they leave, no good remains.

    Al-Fudayl ibn Iyad warns from the other side. Among five signs of wretchedness (shaqa’) he names a hard heart, dry eyes, little haya’, desire for the world, and long hopes.

    Admonish yourself first

    Several reports in the chapter turn haya’ on the one who teaches it. The chapter relates that Allah said to Isa: admonish yourself, and if you take the admonition, then admonish people; otherwise, feel haya’ before Me for admonishing them. When someone told Abd Allah ibn Manazil that a preacher had spoken about haya’, he exclaimed: how can someone without haya’ before Allah speak about haya’?

    A simple way to practise, drawn from Junayd’s definition: at the end of the day, name a few blessings you received, then a few ways you fell short. Sitting with both at once is where haya’ begins. For more on this kind of review, see our guide to muhasaba, and on character more broadly, good character.

    FAQ

    What does haya’ mean in Sufism?

    Haya’ is modesty or shame before Allah. In the Risala, al-Junayd defines it as the state born from seeing Allah’s blessings and seeing your own shortcoming.

    Is haya’ just shyness?

    No. The Prophet called it part of faith, and in the hadith of Ibn Mas’ud he explained true haya’ before Allah as guarding the head, the stomach and the heart’s attachments, and remembering death.

    Does haya’ mean I should not ask Allah for small things?

    No. In the example of Musa in the Risala, he is told to ask even for the salt of his dough. Haya’ shapes how you ask, with humility.

    Source: Abu al-Qasim al-Qushayri, al-Risala al-Qushayriyya, Bab al-Haya’, Arabic text: archive.org.

  • Wara’ (Scrupulousness) in Classical Sufi Teaching: What Qushayri’s Risala Says

    Wara’ (Scrupulousness) in Classical Sufi Teaching: What Qushayri’s Risala Says

    Wara’ in Sufism is the habit of stepping back from anything doubtful. Abu al-Qasim al-Qushayri (d. 465 AH) defines it in one line in the chapter on wara’ in his Risala: wara’ is leaving the doubtful things (tark al-shubuhat). He opens the chapter with the hadith “Part of the excellence of a person’s Islam is leaving what does not concern him” (al-Tirmidhi). This guide walks through that chapter in plain English, working from the Arabic text (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya, Arabic edition on archive.org).

    Quick answer

    Short answer: For Qushayri, wara’ means leaving what is doubtful, not only what is forbidden. The early teachers in his chapter apply it to food and money, to speech, and finally to the heart itself.

    What wara’ means

    Qushayri backs up his definition with Ibrahim ibn Adham: wara’ is leaving every doubtful thing, and leaving what does not concern you is leaving the excess. He then quotes Abu Bakr al-Siddiq:

    كنا ندع سبعين باباً من الحلال مخافة أن نقع في باب من الحرام, “We used to leave seventy doors of the lawful for fear of falling into one door of the unlawful.”

    The chapter also cites the Prophet’s words to Abu Hurayra: “Be scrupulous and you will be the most devoted of people” (Ibn Majah).

    The outer side and the inner side

    Yahya ibn Mu’adh, quoted by Qushayri, divides wara’ in two:

    • Outward wara’: that you make no move except for Allah.
    • Inward wara’: that nothing but Allah enters your heart.

    Al-Shibli takes it to its furthest point: wara’ is to hold back from everything other than Allah. Yahya ibn Mu’adh also gives a working rule: wara’ is stopping at the limit of what you know, without bending it by reinterpretation.

    Where wara’ sits among the stations

    Abu Sulayman al-Darani gives a map in one sentence: wara’ is the beginning of renunciation (zuhd), just as contentment with little is an edge of rida. Yunus ibn Ubayd joins it to self-examination: wara’ is leaving every doubtful thing and taking account of the self at every glance (see our guide to muhasaba).

    Sufyan al-Thawri makes it sound simple: “I have seen nothing easier than wara’. Whatever unsettles your soul, leave it.”

    Wara’ in speech

    The chapter does not limit wara’ to food and money. Ishaq ibn Khalaf says that wara’ in speech is harder than wara’ with gold and silver. Ma’ruf al-Karkhi advises: guard your tongue from praise just as you guard it from blame. Bishr al-Hafi counts wara’ in private, when no one is watching, among the hardest deeds.

    Stories from the chapter

    Qushayri fills the chapter with short reports. A few of them, in paraphrase:

    • Ahmad ibn Hanbal’s bucket: he left a bucket with a grocer in Makkah as a pledge. When he came to redeem it, the grocer brought out two buckets and said, “Take whichever is yours.” Ahmad said he could not be sure which was his, so he left both the bucket and the money. When the grocer admitted he had only been testing him, Ahmad still would not take it.
    • The lamp oil: Abu Salih Hamdun was sitting with a dying friend. When the man died, Hamdun blew out the lamp and said that until now the oil had belonged to his friend, and from now on it belonged to the heirs.
    • Ibn al-Mubarak’s pen: he travelled back from Merv to Syria because of a pen he had borrowed and not returned to its owner.
    • Al-Nakha’i’s whip: riding a hired animal, he dropped his whip. He got down, tied the animal and walked back for it. Asked why he had not simply ridden back, he said he had hired the animal to go one way, not the other.

    Reading these examples today

    These are the examples of masters, and Qushayri presents them as high points, not as the first step. His own definition is the place to start: notice what is doubtful and leave it. In daily life that can look like small, concrete things: returning what you borrow, not using what belongs to others without asking, and keeping praise and blame out of your speech. Al-Thawri’s rule keeps it from turning into anxiety: if something unsettles your soul, leave it, and move on.

    For how the Risala is arranged as a whole, see our reader’s introduction to Qushayri’s Risala.

    FAQ

    What does wara’ mean in Sufism?

    Wara’ means scrupulousness: leaving what is doubtful, not only what is clearly forbidden. Qushayri defines it as leaving the doubtful things.

    What is the difference between wara’ and zuhd?

    In the Risala, Abu Sulayman al-Darani calls wara’ the beginning of zuhd. Wara’ leaves the doubtful; zuhd goes further and lets go of attachment to the world.

    Is wara’ only about food and money?

    No. The chapter applies it to speech as well, and Yahya ibn Mu’adh describes an inward wara’ in which nothing but Allah enters the heart.

    Source: Abu al-Qasim al-Qushayri, al-Risala al-Qushayriyya, Bab al-Wara’, Arabic text: archive.org.